After a while it Just became something I had to do. I mean, I’d tell myself I wasn’t going to do any more, wasn’t going to do any more. And I’d always do it and I’d always feel guilty and hate myself for it and say, Why can’t I stop? I don’t know why I can’t stop.

I believe it’s not a natural instinct for women to want to hurt their babies. Pregnant women don’t want to use. They don’t want to hurt their babies. I know I didn’t want to hurt mine.